Dark Summer
by lella7
Summary: The wizarding world has acknowledged Voldemort's return and full scale war has broken out. Amidst daily deaths and disappearances and a Ministry in disarray, Tonks struggles with heartbreak and Bellatrix tries desperately to win back her master's favour.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N- This story will look at what the Order and the Death Eaters were up to in the summer between Harry's 5****th**** and 6****th**** years. I'm going to do alternate chapters from Tonks' and Bellatrix's points of view for the most part, but the two of them spend most of this summer pining over unrequited loves. This might get depressing so perhaps I'll throw in the occasional chapter from someone else's point of view. Nice cheery chapters about murder or some such happening.**

**I'm also writing this story in an attempt to fulfil Gamma Orionis' 10K in 10 days challenge, so I will hopefully be putting up a lot of updates within the next 10-14 days. Don't hold your breath though because I've just looked at my diary for the next two weeks and it looks like the only time I'll have for writing is the time I've allocated for sleep.**

**I'll stop now before my author's note is longer than the chapter itself. Please review and let me know what you think :)**

Chapter 1

Tonks slowly opened her eyes before snapping them shut again at the piercing daylight. She decided to roll over and go back to sleep, but the arm she reached out to turn herself didn't move. She struggled a little but it seemed to be bound to her chest. That was odd.

Disoriented, she opened her eyes, more slowly this time, and realised she had no idea where she was. Sunlight streamed towards her from all directions, reflected from clean, white surfaces. That was very odd. It was all far too clean.

A shadow moved across her face and she turned to the figure leaning over her and tried to ask where she was, but let out only an indecipherable murmur.

"Oh thank goodness, you're awake," the figure said and Tonks smiled as the voice triggered a warm, fluffy sensation in her still dazed mind. She struggled to focus her eyes on him.

"You're in St. Mungo's, but the healers say you'll be fine in a couple of weeks," he continued, gently, before asking, in a rather more worried tone, "Nymphadora, are you all right?"

"Don't call me that," Tonks replied quickly, her vision finally sharpening enough to take in Remus' pale, concerned face.

"I'll take that as a yes, then," he said, relaxing into a smile.

Tonks scrunched her stiff shoulders as best she could with her right arm tightly bandaged to her chest. This wasn't the first time she'd found herself waking up in hospital. There had been that time when she had tripped over a cauldron in her first year of Auror training and doused herself in Scalding Solution, the nasty incident with the Wartcap Powder, not to mention all the injuries she had sustained whilst practicing duelling.

"What did I do this time?" she mumbled, expecting yet another embarrassing tale of her own clumsiness, but Remus' eyebrows shot up in shock.

"You don't remember?" he asked and Tonks shook her head vaguely. "Well we went to the Ministry," he continued, his eyes now even more concerned as they raked over her expression of numb confusion. "Harry, Hermione, Ron, Ginny and a couple of their friends had gone there because they thought Voldemort had... well, we went down to the Department of Mysteries to get them out and... and..."

Remus broke off, seemingly struggling to maintain his usual calm demeanour, as his gentle, reassuring tone of voice began to fracture. Tonks felt a sudden desire to comfort him, to tell him that everything would be all right, but she couldn't because she still hadn't pieced together the hazy memories of what had happened as they floated back to her.

A silver doe; that was Severus' Patronus, and it had burst into the kitchen at Headquarters to tell them they needed to get to the Ministry. Sirius' look of righteous fury; he had put up a fight when he was told to stay where he was and there wasn't really time to argue with him. Doors spinning in a blur and glittering time turners, but none of these images told Tonks exactly what had happened.

"I remember going to the Ministry," she began, feeling as though she was clutching at the final hazy memories of a dream, "but not... were the Death Eaters there?"

"Yes," Remus replied quickly, but he did not seem to want to elaborate so Tonks pressed on.

"So one of them did this to me, then?" she questioned, indicating her bandaged arm and chest.

Remus nodded gravely, his eyes full of guilt, pity and an intense sadness, such as Tonks had never seen, as they scanned her broken body.

"I'll be okay," Tonks assured him, thinking she must be the cause of his worry. "I've made it through far worse in training when..." Tonks trailed off at the look Remus was struggling to conceal from his eyes. Her stomach dropped as she realised what that look meant; she wasn't the greatest of his worries.

"Remus, did... did something happen to one of the others?" she asked tentatively, her voice shaking with sudden fear.

He nodded, no longer looking at her and the calm expression he had struggled to maintain throughout their conversation cracked into a look or pure, grief-stricken anguish, which felt like a knife driving itself through Tonks' stomach.

"I sh-shouldn't be bothering you with this," Remus muttered, making to leave, but Tonks shot up into a seated position to rest her un-bandaged hand on Remus' shoulder. He froze and she gently guided him to sit on the bed beside her.

"Please tell me," she asked in a desperate whisper.

Remus closed his eyes and slowly placed his own hand on Tonks'. She watched as two tears streamed quickly down his cheeks.

"Sirius," he said bluntly, eyes still closed.

"Is he...?" Tonks couldn't finish, Remus' expression answering her question, but his nod still brought tears of her own to her eyes.

They sat in silence as tears fell freely down her face. She was too overcome by numb shock to brush them away. Finally, Remus squeezed her hand and looked up into her pale face. His eyes still shining with tears, he looked so haunted, tortured even, and Tonks wanted nothing more than to take that pain away from him, but had no idea where to start. She had never been much good in such situations, and though she knew it was perhaps a little insensitive to continue questioning him, she finally let her curiosity get the better of her.

"How did it happen?" she muttered gently.

Remus mouth twisted with bitterness as he looked up and spat out his answer.

"Bellatrix Lestrange."


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N- Thank you to everyone who put this on their alerts or favourites and a special thank you to Inkfire and WeasleySeeker for your lovely reviews. I hope you enjoy the next instalment. Reviews are love :) **

Chapter 2

Bellatrix awoke with a start, sending a jolt of pain through her aching muscles. Her neck was twisted uncomfortably against the wall and the hair that had fallen across her face was matted with blood. Although she could not remember getting into this position, she knew exactly how it had happened and the thought of the Dark Lord's anger sent waves of mingled fear and guilt across her pale skin. It was by no means the first time she had incurred his wrath, but it had been a very long time since she had fallen out of favour with him and she didn't think she had ever been in this much pain after enduring his punishment. Whatever she had done, it had been something bad.

The realisation knocked the breath out of her and her stomach dropped. _The prophecy._ The thing her master had so desperately craved and the sole object of his attention from the moment she had rejoined him, was destroyed. Of course it had not been her fault. Lucius had handled the situation far too delicately; he had allowed those children to escape them, and he had given them far too much control instead of simply seizing the damned thing from them.

But still, the Dark Lord would blame them all for this mistake. And she was the only one of those who had gone to the Ministry left, the only one not captured, and hence, the one her master would take out his anger on.

And he was angry. The memories of last night came back to her and with each one she felt the pain he had inflicted once more.

There were deep cuts in her palms where her own fingernails had pierced straight through the skin as she writhed in agony, helpless, under his Cruciatus Curse. The blood she could feel caked onto her face and congealing in her hair came from a cut on her cheek which he had sliced open viciously with his wand. The back of her head throbbed painfully where she had hit it against the wall as he threw her to the ground.

Yet none of these injuries pained her as much as the look of fury he had directed towards her. For the past few months she had stood by his side and watched, smirking as he had directed that look towards others; the weak who had abandoned her master rather than trying to find him as she had. For her he had reserved a smile, a look of pride at his former protégé's achievements and devotion, and she had basked in his favour. She had revelled in the look of triumph in her master's eyes as she had knelt before him, on the day he had come for her, breaking her out of prison, as she knew he one day would.

She closed her eyes and remembered the way he had placed his fingers under her chin, lifting her head until their eyes met, and called her his most faithful, most devoted servant and told her she would be rewarded.

Tears sprung to her eyes as she opened them and the golden memory was whisked away, leaving behind only the bleak, bloodstained room surrounding her. She struggled to her feet, noticing as she did that her left arm was sore. Pulling up the torn sleeve of her robes, she found a large bruise wrapped around her upper arm, where the Dark Lord had grabbed her to disapparate them both from the Ministry to... wherever she was now. Gently she trailed her hand along the marks left by his long, thin fingers. He had saved her. She clung desperately to that thought. He had not left her to be taken back to Azkaban like the others down in the Department of Mysteries. Surely that meant something. Although, that awful anger in his eyes said otherwise.

She made her way over to a cracked mirror that hung on the wall, wincing at the state she was in. Narcissa would throw a fit if she returned to Malfoy Manor, where she was currently staying, like this. She pretended that was the reason she performed a few healing spells and some quick charms to vanish the blood from her face and hair and mend her robes, so that she did not have to admit to herself that she was so bitterly ashamed of her injuries.

She looked up into the mirror again, holding her chin up in an attempt to combat the appearance of weakness given by her trembling lip and tearstained eyes. She was not quite used to the way she looked now, thin and deadened, even paler than she had been in her youth. It had not really bothered her at first. She was not one for agonising over her looks like her younger sister, but over the past few weeks niggling insecurities had begun to build up. Since she had broken out of prison, the Dark Lord had not once called her to his bedroom as he had, seldom admittedly, before he had fallen. She felt like a pathetic housewife for wondering whether he was perhaps no longer attracted to her, but the thought worried her far more than it should. She knew she should feel honoured for ever being permitted such intimacy with the Dark Lord and should not expect anything more. But she did, in the deepest corners of her mind, keep thoughts that she could not truly bury no matter how hard she tried. They told her that maybe; just maybe, he cared about her more than he would allow himself to say.

It did not matter now anyway. He had seemed so furious with her that she should be grateful he had left her alive, and she did not think she would be forgiven in a hurry. But she would regain his favour, no matter what it took. And she would destroy every single one of those fools who had caused her to lose it. She had already rid herself of one. Her idiotic cousin had had it coming for far too long and the thought of him sailing through that veil and being cleansed from the Earth for good brought a hint of a smile to her face for the first time as she disapparated back to Malfoy Manor.


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N- Yes, I'm failing ever so slightly on the getting updates up quickly front *sigh*. But I hope you're still enjoying the story. We're back with Tonks and Remus this chapter. Thank-you once again to Inkfire and WeasleySeeker for your lovely reviews :)**

Chapter 3

Tonks had been waiting to leave the hospital for over a week now and she was beginning to feel very restless. Her injuries had been mostly healed, but she had been told not to attempt apparition for at least another few weeks, lest she did any further damage. The current climate made it unsafe for anyone to travel alone, particularly someone still recovering and whom the Death Eaters now knew to be an Order member. Tonks had therefore been told that she would be accompanied from the hospital by two other Order members and taken to her parents' house where she could fully recover in safety. This had seemed a perfectly simple and agreeable plan in theory, but in practice the Order were stretched far too thinly and low priority tasks such as this had fallen by the wayside. When, whilst sitting on her bed with her bags packed for the seventh day running, Remus Lupin and Emmeline Vance strolled into her ward, she almost cheered for joy.

She flung herself at Remus, engulfing him in a bear hug, which seemed to surprise him a little before he patted her on the back ever so gently, seeming afraid to do any more damage to her still bandaged chest. As they broke apart, Remus avoided meeting her eyes but before she could make anything of it, Emmeline had wrapped her arms around Tonks maternally.

"How are you feeling, sweetheart?" the older woman asked, holding Tonks an arm's length away from her and surveying her with steely, grey eyes.

"Much better, thanks," she replied with a bright smile. Emmeline Vance was a good friend of her mother's and, having known Tonks since she was very small, always spoke to her like she was a child. It had never really bothered her before, but for some reason she now found it rather embarrassing.

"Your mother was worried sick," Emmeline continued. "She was having me send her daily updates! It was all I could do to stop her rushing back here the second she heard. She was already trying to book tickets for one of those air-plane things because they didn't have brooms or anything with them." Tonks' parents had been in New Zealand when she was injured, visiting her paternal grandparents, a pair of elderly Muggles who had retired there ten years ago. They knew of their son and his wife's magic, but were a little wary of it, so her father had always insisted on travelling to see them the Muggle way. Tonks was terrifically excited whenever she made the trip, but her mother didn't trust anything made by Muggles to stay off the ground and always looked sickly pale until the plane had safely touched down.

"She was willing to get on an early plane home voluntarily, just to see me?" Tonks asked with mock incredulity.

Emmeline chuckled and began making small talk about her parents' trip. Tonks half listened, wanting to ask far more important questions about what was going on in the Order, but she knew Emmeline was working hard to appear bright and cheery, and so she let her. Besides, there was to be an Order meeting the following day and she was sure she'd be brought up to date then. Mad-Eye would probably insist that she wasn't allowed to do any work for the Order until she was fully recovered so, no matter how curious she was, there was probably not even any point pushing to find out what was going on.

Remus walked silently beside the two women as they made their way out of the hospital and onto the Knight Bus. Tonks flashed him a small smile which he seemed to hesitate before returning, regarding her with a slightly confused expression which did not entirely suit his usual calm, yet assertive demeanour.

They reached Tonks' childhood home half an hour later. She had moved out midway through her Auror training, over three years ago now, into a flat in the centre of London, and much as she loved it there, in the centre of things, this house still felt like home.

Her mother had clearly been waiting at a window, as Tonks saw a curtain fluttering back into place as they approached, and Andromeda appeared at the door just as the three Order members set foot in the neat front garden.

Tonks stifled a sudden gasp of shock as her mother's appearance forced her to think of Bellatrix whom she so resembled. That had been the worst part about duelling against her aunt; despite her sunken cheeks and wild hair, she looked so familiar it had been terrifying.

But then Andromeda smiled and Tonks recognised her wide, caring eyes and chocolate brown hair, and the moment of fear passed as quickly as it had come.

She embraced her mother as tightly as her sore chest and arm would allow, forgetting for a moment that she was an Auror or an Order member and seeking the comfort that only a mother could bring.

"Oh, Dora, I can't tell you what a relief it is to see you're alright," Andromeda said, shaking her head despairingly as they broke apart. "You take better care of yourself in future. Don't ever scare me like that again."

"I'll do my best, Mum," Tonks grinned.

"Emmeline, Remus," she said, nodding over her daughter's shoulder to her companions. "Do you have time to come in for a cup of tea or is the Order keeping you too busy?"

"Oh I'm sure we can spare half an hour or so," Emmeline replied, striding up the path to peck Andromeda on the cheek.

Remus smiled at Tonks and offered her his arm to help her up the steps to the door. Tonks was sure she was strong enough to climb them herself, but found herself rather touched by the gentlemanly gesture and slid her arm through his with a grin and they followed the two older women into the house.

Ten minutes later, Tonks and Remus sat silently sipping tea, half listening to Emmeline and Andromeda having a conversation about their gardens, a topic neither of them felt qualified to comment on. Much as she had missed her mother, Tonks had to admit she was relieved when Andromeda led Emmeline into the garden to show her some plant or another, leaving her and Remus alone in the lounge.

"How can they even be interested in things like that with everything that's going on?" Tonks mused, staring after the two women. It felt a little surreal to be sitting here talking about something so trivial when just a few weeks ago she had been fighting for her life and even today the newspapers heralded yet more death and destruction.

"I suppose they're just trying to carry on as normal," Remus replied. "We all are. There's nothing else we can do. If we thought about the war all the time we'd go mad."

Tonks nodded in agreement. "It just feels odd, like they don't understand, but I know they do." She leaned in towards Remus slightly, finding his presence next to her on the sofa very comforting. "Emmeline was in the Order right from the start, and with her family and everything my mum probably understands better than anyone. But I keep forgetting all of that. Merlin, I hope I don't ever end up sounding like such a middle-aged woman."

"I don't think there's much danger of that," Remus chuckled and Tonks began to laugh too, the bizarreness she felt at being back at home causing her to find the comment far funnier than it really was. She looked up at him when the laughter died out and found his face just inches from hers. She smiled a little awkwardly but he did not return the smile, eyes fixed on hers and Tonks found herself drawn towards him.

"... had such terrible weather for the last few weeks, it's been so grey and gloomy." The sound of Andromeda's voice in the hallway startled Tonks and Remus and they quickly sprang apart seconds before she and Emmeline re-entered the room.

"We'd better get going Remus," said Emmeline briskly. "Our guard duty's starting in ten minutes. It was lovely seeing you, Andromeda."

Tonks watched as her mother said her goodbyes and thought she caught a hint of a knowing look in Andromeda's eyes as she glanced from her daughter to Remus.


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4

Bellatrix glared daggers at her sister as Narcissa paced aimlessly up and down the kitchen. She resented being cooped up with her and being forced to listen to her moaning. Despite all the evidence to the contrary, Bellatrix had thought that her sister possessed a little more backbone than she was currently displaying.

"... and Draco gets home today, Merlin knows how difficult this must be for him, he's only sixteen and to see his father utterly disgraced like that..." Narcissa wrung her hands in a rather pathetic manner and Bellatrix rolled her eyes.

"Cissy," she interrupted harshly, "could you_ please _talk about something else for _five minutes_? This is boring me to tears_._"

Narcissa spun around angrily to face her. "My husband is in prison, Bella, do you really think I care about entertaining you?"

"He's been there for two weeks already," Bellatrix continued unflinchingly. "I would have thought you'd stop whining about it by now."

"_Whining!"_ Narcissa repeated, looking just about ready to hex her sister, though of course Bellatrix knew she wouldn't. "You really have no idea what this is like, do you?"

"Well my husband is in prison too and yet I seem to be able to find other topics of conversation," Bellatrix smirked.

"Oh yes that must be so difficult for you," Narcissa muttered scathingly. "I know how incredibly close you were."

That only increased Bellatrix's smirk.

"I should know better than to expect sympathy from you," Narcissa sighed. "I'm going to the station to collect Draco."

She swept from the room and Bellatrix felt a twinge of relief at being left alone, before she saw what Narcissa had left on the counter, which brought her exasperation flooding back.

"Cissy!" she screeched after her sister's retreating figure.

"What is it?" Narcissa asked coldly, reappearing in the doorway.

"Don't you think you might need that?"

Narcissa's face remained stony, but a faint blush appeared on her pale cheeks as she stalked over to the counter to pick up her wand which she had left behind.

"You can't start getting careless now," Bellatrix scolded. "I'm sure the Ministry would love nothing better than to lock you up, just so they can pretend they still have some modicum of control. You're spending far too much time worrying and it's not doing you any favours. Lucius will be _fine._ In case you've forgotten, I was in Azkaban for fourteen years and-"

Narcissa muttered something under her breath that sounded suspiciously like, "That's what worries me," causing Bellatrix's temper to flare up instantly.

"And what is that supposed to mean?" she demanded, leaping to her feet.

Narcissa stepped backwards, looking a little afraid, though the tone in which she assured Bellatrix that it had been nothing sounded a little condescending.

Bellatrix sat back down slowly, her eyes still narrowed.

"Now that the Ministry has removed the Dementors from Azkaban it won't be half as bad," she said with a hint of bitterness. "And the Ministry are in such disarray that the Dark Lord will be able to break all his followers out whenever he chooses."

"And what if he doesn't?" Narcissa asked quietly. "What if the Dark Lord does not forgive him?"

Bellatrix bit her lip, feeling her stomach drop a little as Narcissa came so close to asking the very question that had been keeping her up at night for the past two weeks; what if he never forgave any of them?

"Then it will be Lucius' own fault," Bellatrix snapped angrily, not wanting to show Narcissa her fear. "He was supposed to be in charge and-"

"_Don't you_ _dare._"

Bellatrix was a little taken aback at the cold fury, the extent of which she had never before heard in Narcissa's tone.

"You were there too so don't you dare blame Lucius."

"The Dark Lord-" Bellatrix began defensively, but Narcissa cut her off.

"He clearly blames you as well. Why else would he have ignored you completely these past two weeks?"

With that knife-blow to her sister's heart Narcissa strode from the room and fortunately she was gone before Bellatrix had time to recover from it. Narcissa would most likely, as she probably well knew, have been on the receiving end of a nasty hex if she hadn't.

Bellatrix picked up the glass she had been drinking from and hurled it against the wall which did little to sate her burning anger.

Every day for the past two weeks she had found out about attacks and kidnappings engineered by the Death Eaters in the same way as the general public did; in the newspaper. Her mark had not burned once. She had not even been in contact with any of the other Death Eaters; those to whom she was related were all in Azkaban and clearly the Dark Lord did not currently deem her worthy enough to be informed of any of their activities.

This scarred her far more than his torture had. Before the Dark Lord had fallen, she had been right near the centre of his web. She had known almost all of his plans and been included in all the most important of them. She had been one of her master's favourite and most trusted servants, and he had treated her the same way from the moment she left Azkaban, immediately telling her his plans for obtaining the prophecy and sending her to the ministry to obtain it.

But now, suddenly, there was nothing. She had been completely cut off without a word.

And it was destroying her.


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5

Number Twelve, Grimmauld Place had never been exactly ideal as a headquarters of the Order of the Phoenix. It had been dark and dingy and, when they had first arrived at least, downright dangerous. Tonks had waged war against the place for an entire year, often unintentionally, damaging the strange, dark objects that cluttered the entire house with her clumsiness, and it had certainly fought back. She could not remember having once left headquarters without sustaining some new cut, bruise or bite.

However, when she and Mad-Eye entered the Burrow for their first meeting held in this new makeshift headquarters, she began to think perhaps Number Twelve hadn't been so bad after all.

They were the last to arrive and the Weasleys' tiny kitchen was therefore heaving with people. Every chair had long since been taken, and as there certainly wasn't room to conjure more, the walls were lined with standing figures.

"Sorry we're late," Tonks said brightly, casting an apprehensive look around the room for a route she could take, without treading on anyone's feet. "Mad-Eye tried to make me fly to Liverpool first in case we were followed from the Ministry." Whilst Tonks had been glad of the chance to catch up with her former mentor, she had known from the moment he had arrived at the Auror Office to escort her to the meeting that they would be very late. She once again mentally cursed the healer who had forbidden her from apparition.

"We've already had one headquarters jeopardised," Moody replied gruffly. "We can't afford to have Death Eaters showing up here."

Tonks rolled her eyes, but otherwise ignored him, and stumbled across the crowded room to perch on a kitchen counter. Remus gave her a quick smile as she passed, but when she returned, he looked away awkwardly almost immediately.

A tall, attractive, blonde girl stepped aside to allow her room to climb onto the counter. Tonks did not recognise her, but she could guess at her identity; Moody had complained in an aggressive whisper as they were leaving the Ministry that Bill's new fiancée had been admitted into the Order without any background checking and that, for all they knew, she was a French spy.

"Wotcher," she said to the girl, who looked up a little confused. "I'm Tonks. You must be Fleur."

The blonde nodded and smiled warmly, though she glanced slightly warily at Tonks' usual bubblegum-pink hair.

Fleur then turned away and began to nuzzle her head into Bill's neck, which Tonks thought just a tad inappropriate for the situation, and a quick glance at Molly's face told her she thought the same.

Tonks leaned back a little to distance herself from the couple, but in doing so managed to somehow knock over a pot of kitchen implements that stood behind her. Bill and Fleur sprung apart at the resulting crash. Fortunately Tonks was spared the embarrassment of drawing the entire room's attention, as it was at that moment that Dumbledore began to speak.

"Now that we are all present, I would like to take this opportunity to thank Molly and Arthur for most generously offering their home to us as a temporary headquarters," Dumbledore said and Tonks flashed Molly an apologetic smile as she repaired and replaced the pot under Fleur's irritated glare.

"We are all indebted to you," Dumbledore continued bowing his head and extending his hand to indicate the Weasleys.

Tonks had to blink at the sight before her, but when she had processed it she gasped in shock. Dumbledore's hand was blackened as though it had been burnt to a crisp. She could tell from the reaction of the rest of the room that she was by no means the only one who did not know of this injury.

"Nothing to worry about," Dumbledore said lightly, withdrawing the hand into the folds of his embroidered robes.

Tonks glanced around the room to assess the reactions of those who might know a little more than she did. Mad-Eye looked just as shocked as she was. However, Snape's jaw had set in a way that looked, not worried, but more like anger. Tonks frowned a little, but his reaction did not bring her any closer to discovering what was wrong.

As the murmurs died down, Kingsley brought up the first matter they needed to discuss. "We need to move Harry over the next couple of weeks. I would suggest that-"

"I'm afraid that will not be necessary," Dumbledore said, softly cutting him off. "I will be collecting Harry from his Aunt and Uncle's house myself. I believe he will be able to assist me with a small difficulty I have encountered. Oh, do not fear, my dear Molly, he will not be in any danger," he continued in response to Mrs Weasley's worried expression. "I find myself, once again, short of a staff member and I am hoping Mr Potter will be able to persuade Professor Slughorn to resume his post as Potions master, whist Severus here takes over as professor of Defence Against the Dark Arts."

Tonks gasped and she was not the only one. She could remember from her own school days Snape's ever increasing anger as each year he was passed over for the teaching position he coveted. What had changed now? She waited for an angry outburst, and someone to demand to know why he was being allowed to teach Defence, but it did not come. She remembered with a sinking feeling that it would have been Sirius who had made such an outburst. It felt strange to think she would never again hear an angry tirade from him against Snape. She missed them already.

Tonks glanced at Remus who was staring down into his lap. She couldn't quite see his expression from where she was sitting, but she wondered whether he was perhaps thinking the same thing. Whilst the meeting moved on to discuss the loose Dementors, Tonks, only half listening, thought back to their conversation in St Mungo's.

Remus had lost so much in the past, but she knew Sirius' death had still hit him very hard. It had hurt them all; even she hadn't quite come to terms with it, despite only really knowing Sirius for a year, aside from the few times they had met before he had gone to Azkaban, when she was too young to fully remember him. She wondered if perhaps he had only been looking for comfort when he had held her hand in the hospital, and then at her parents' house...

She was sure she hadn't imagined that. He _had _been about to kiss her before they were interrupted, surely he had.

Tonks had finally admitted to herself that she had a crush on Remus. And it wasn't just any crush; she literally couldn't stop thinking about him. In fairness, she had thought about him quite a lot last year, but she had dismissed that, at first telling herself that she just found him interesting, and then, when she realised that was a lie, that he was too old to be interested in her and she was just being silly. But he wasn't really _that_ much older than her.

She suddenly became aware that she was being watched, and a quick scan of the room told her that Snape was glancing between her and Remus with a look of faint disgust.

A little embarrassed, Tonks tried to focus very hard on whatever Hestia Jones was saying about Death Eater activity, though she couldn't help sneaking frequent glances at Remus, when she didn't think anyone was watching.

Tonks found the rest of the meeting rather frustrating; obviously everything that was going on was terrible, but she wasn't being allowed to help in any way, on the grounds that she was still recovering. And she really just wanted to talk to Remus.

At last, Dumbledore thanked them all for their reports and bade them goodnight, and Tonks hopped eagerly off the counter, once again knocking over the pot behind her. Fortunately, this time she caught it before it broke and hurriedly replaced it. But as she spun around, she found her way blocked by Molly Weasley.

"Tonks, dear, I was wondering if you wanted to come over for dinner tomorrow night. It's been a while since the family saw you, and I'm sure Ginny in particular would be glad of your company."

"Um, yes, of course Molly. I'd love to, thanks," Tonks said brightly, hoping Mrs Weasley did not think her rude for scanning the crowd of departing Order members as she spoke.

However, to her surprise, Mrs Weasley's next words were to call over the very man she sought.

Remus emerged from the crowd and made his way over to the two women, giving Tonks a smile, but not quite meeting her eyes.

"Remus, do you fancy coming round for dinner tomorrow evening? Tonks is coming and I think it'll be nice for us to get together outside of meetings."

Remus glanced quickly at Tonks before responding a little sheepishly, "Thank-you for the offer, Molly, but I am afraid I will be tied up with all this werewolf infiltration business."

"Oh, don't worry then," said Mrs Weasley, as Tonks did her best not to look too disappointed. "You two see yourselves out, I've got to go and... er... change some sheets." With that, Molly disappeared upstairs, just as the front door shut behind the last of the Order members. And Tonks and Remus were left alone.

"How are you feeling?" Remus asked.

"Much better," Tonks replied, smiling at his familiar, gentle concern. "I've been able to go back to work, not out on missions or anything, but it's good to get back to normal."

"That's good," Remus replied and they lapsed into silence. Tonks took the awkwardness as a clear sign that something had changed between them. Their conversations had always flowed so naturally before. Seizing onto this evidence, Tonks decided to be brave.

"Remus, the day you picked me up from the hospital, when we were at my parents' house, were you...?" she trailed off, losing her nerve.

"I..." Remus began, but did not seem to know how to continue. His eyes, having previously avoided her gaze, were now fixed on hers, and they seemed to draw her in.

She leaned towards him, never taking her eyes of his, and he did the same, until their lips were just inches apart. Tonks ran her tongue softly over her lips, and let her eyelids flicker shut as she closed the gap between them.

In that moment, there was nothing but the two of them. Remus wrapped his arms around her waist and drew her close and it was perfect, more perfect than she could ever have imagined.

And then the moment of perfect bliss was over, and Remus had pushed her away and was out of the door before Tonks could recover from her daze.

**A/N- I'm sorry for taking longer than was really necessary to update. Thank-you so much to Inkfire, WeasleySeeker and MsTonksLupin for your lovely reviews :)**


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6

Bellatrix could have cried with joy when her mark burned after weeks of silence. Hurriedly placing her mask over her face and drawing her hood over the thick waves of her hair, she had disapparated within seconds and was not surprised to see that she was the first to arrive.

Her master stood, facing away from her, gazing out over a steely, grey river, his black robes rippling around his tall, thin frame in the breezes that were building themselves up to an approaching storm.

Her heart thudded in her chest and she approached as if pulled magnetically towards him, but before she reached him, other masked, hooded figures appeared, and by the time her master turned, she was just one more mask among a crowd. He did not so much as glance at her as, in one motion, the crown dropped to its knees on the patchy river bank.

At a gesture from the Dark Lord, they rose and formed a circle and he strode purposefully to the centre of it running his cold eyes across the masked faces of his servants. He paid no attention to her, his gaze skimming past, and yet Bellatrix shivered, merely from being in his presence.

"My friends," he began, softly enough that they could only just hear him above the winds and rushing water, but with palpable hints of danger, "you may be wondering why I have summoned you here, to the centre of this filthy city, in which arrogant Muggles roam free; free from the control which we deserve to impose upon them. If we had our way, such places would be purged and the filth inhabiting them made to serve us. And yet the Ministry of Magic sees fit to allow such blemishes to remain in this country because they _care_ about those who should rightfully be placed well below us, they think they have the same rights, they want to _protect _them."

He stopped and smirked as jeers ran around the ring of his followers, before lazily raising a hand to stop them.

"I have recently been... in contact with the Ministry of Magic." A couple of the masked figures chuckled. "They were warned that should they not desist in their attempts to fight us and should they not stand aside and allow our new regime to begin, there would be cause for us to further demonstrate our power."

Bellatrix felt a shiver of anticipation and the same sense of _rightness_ that she always did when the Dark Lord spoke of their aims in this way. Yet it was tinged with a slight feeling of disappointment. She had not known that such threats were being made, or the way in which they had been made which others seemed to find so funny. For the first time since she had been brought in to her master's inner circle well over twenty years ago, she felt completely out of the loop. Even in Azkaban she had known more than the others because it seemed like she had been the only person to truly know he would return.

_Perhaps she was no longer in his inner circle. Perhaps he no longer thought she could be trusted._ Her stomach twisted uncomfortably and she tried to put such painful thoughts from her mind as the Dark Lord began to speak again.

"I have called you here, my friends, to reaffirm to all of you, and to the rest of the Wizarding world, that we are far superior to this vermin we have for so long been forced to hide away from. To remind you that we can crush them in a _second,_ if we so choose.

"Plenty of warning was given, and we must not allow the Ministry to think that Lord Voldemort makes empty threats."

He strode calmly towards the river bank and the ring of black cloaks broke without a word to allow him through. As they all formed a crowd behind their master, Bellatrix pushed her way to the front. The Dark Lord was still facing away from them, but had turned slightly and was gazing downstream towards where a busy bridge crossed the water, twirling his wand between his fingers and suddenly she knew what he planned to do.

Nothing, however, could have prepared her for his strike when it came. The steady raising of his wand and the inaudible mutter of a spell could easily have characterised the casting of the simplest of charms. Yet the pulse of magic that his curse emitted was like nothing she had ever experienced. It resonated through the air and even by the time it reached Bellatrix, standing several meters away and well out of the line of fire, its shockwave was powerful enough to send her stumbling backwards.

It tore through the bridge instantly, with a satisfying clang that must have echoed for miles around. The two halves crashed into the water as if the whole enormous metal structure was made of nothing more than twigs.

They were too far away to hear the screams, but from the sight of cars packed with Muggles plunging helpless into the foam, Bellatrix could tell that there were screams, and just the thought of them made her cackle with glee as the men around her cheered.

The Dark Lord turned back to them and Bellatrix felt her heartbeat flutter and her breath catch in her throat. Although she had known him, had served him, for more than half her life, she still found she could hardly believe his power. She bit her lower lip and gazed at him, her eyes wide with adoration. Still he did not spare her even a glance but at that moment it did not matter. She was captivated by his mere presence and at the thought that she was fighting under a leader so powerful and how unquestionably _right_ that was.

She thought back to everything they had shared; how he had moulded her into his perfect warrior, how he had entrusted her with closely guarded secrets. How she would melt into him when they were alone together.

"You are dismissed."

Lost in her thoughts, the Dark Lord's sharp order made her jump a little, with a flicker of embarrassment at the course her thoughts had taken. That tiny flicker was quickly replaced, however, by a sudden, desperate hope that, after everything, surely her master would forgive her.

She thought of how, after he had released her from Azkaban, he had clasped her jaw with those long, pale fingers and looked down at her with something almost resembling pride and called her his most faithful servant.

The giddy joy that she had felt in that moment, feeling a happiness that for so very long she had been without, began to consume her now. Foolishly, she began to think that her master would surely forgive her. Surely her failings were nothing when compared to all she had sacrificed for him.

So instead of disapparating away, as all those around her were now doing, she boldly approached the Dark Lord.

"Master..."

His expression switched instantly to anger as his crimson eyes darted to Bellatrix, with enough venom to make her tremble. "I have already dismissed you. I recommend you do not try my patience," he snapped, and in a second he had disapparated, leaving her to stand alone on the river bank.

She stood there for well over an hour, as dusk fell, and the blue lights of sirens danced on the steely waters, reflecting on how foolish her hope had been.

**A/N- It has been a really long time since I updated this fic, for which I apologise profusely. **

**Also, if anyone is wondering just how Voldemort did get that message to the Ministry, I had an interesting conversation about this on the Bellatrix forum and I think my favourite of the ideas that came up (suggested by the amazing Mrs Bella Riddle) was threats carved on corpses. I'm morbid like that. :)**


	7. Chapter 7

**A/N – It has been far too long since I updated this fic. I have no excuse. I am sorry. **

**Also, the next chapter will be longer, I promise.**

Chapter 7

"Oh, Dora, there you are, dear," said Emmeline Vance as she stepped in front of Tonks, halting her in her journey across the room to confront Remus. She fixed the younger woman in place with a look of maternal concern. "Are you feeling alright? You look a little pale."

"I'm fine," Tonks reassured her and tried to focus on bringing a little more colour to her cheeks. She could feel that it was not working. She had had a lot of trouble transforming recently because she had far too much on her mind. Whenever she tried to picture her usual bubblegum-pink shade, her thoughts darted back anxiously to the previous week's Order meeting and what Remus must think of her. She knew that the mousy brown colour her hair had faded to only made her look more anxious and drawn.

"You should take things easy for a couple more weeks. Give yourself time to recover properly. I hope they're not putting too much pressure on you at work."

"Honestly, I feel fine." Tonks did her best to sound her usual, chirpy self but she could tell from the way Emmeline pursed her lips that she did not believe her and most likely would be reporting back to her mother that she was over-exerting herself. That was the last thing Tonks needed.

Now, however, she had more pressing matters to attend to. She had just caught sight of Remus' back retreating through the Burrow's front door, even though most of the Order members were staying around to chat.

She made her excuses and dashed after him.

"Remus!"

He seemed to hesitate before turning around slowly to face her, not quite meeting her eyes. They were the only two people in the yard. Everyone else had either reached the apparition point by now and left, or was still inside. And this seemed to make Remus very uncomfortable.

"Remus, we need-"

"Nymphadora, I'm sorry-"

They both started speaking at the same time and quickly broke off.

"You go first," Remus said, still not quite looking at her.

Tonks took a deep breath, before she launched into a slightly stilted sounding speech. "Look, I just thought there was something going on between us – you know, at my parents' house when I got out of St. Mungo's? And that's why I did that last week... I just... If I've completely got the wrong idea then please tell me and that's... well that's fine." That was a complete lie. If he told her she had been imagining the whole thing, it most definitely was not _fine._ "And why have you started calling me Nymphadora again?"

"I'm sorry," Remus replied without a smile. "We just... we can't."

Tonks felt as though her heart had stopped. "Oh Merlin, I've been making it all up, haven't I?"

"No, no you haven't," Remus reassured her, but his usual calm tone was gone. "You're an incredible young woman, but there are just far too many complications. It wouldn't be fair to you if we..." He trailed off shaking his head.

"Complications? What do you mean?"

"I'm not..." Remus struggled to find the words to explain. "I'm not _safe."_

"Of course you are!" Tonks cried, shocked. "Your... _condition_ doesn't bother me at all. I don't care about that."

"It's not just that, it's what other people think of me and what they'll think of you if..." He looked down at his feet. "I'm not good for you and it wouldn't be fair."

"But I... I think I..." She took a deep breath. "I love you."

Remus seemed to flinch at her words before he shook his head and simply muttered, "I'm sorry."

Tonks felt as though all the blood had drained from her body and left her completely numb. She barely registered that something had just brushed past her wrist until it stopped directly in front of her, emitting a pearly glow.

The apparition of the silver lynx puzzled her. Kingsley had been too busy to attend today's meeting, so if he was sending a message now, it had to mean something bad. Very bad. Tonks felt her stomach twist with a sudden spasm of fear as the creature's mouth opened and Kingsley's familiar, low voice, slightly tinged with panic rang out across the yard.

"Death Eaters are attacking towns in South Devon. We need people here _immediately._"

Her head still spinning with emotions, Tonks could only stare at the spot where the lynx patronus had been, for several seconds after it vanished. Then, seizing herself, she sprinted off across the yard, beyond the Burrow's protective enchantments, barely noticing that Remus was calling after her, and turned on the spot. The yard was instantly replaced by blackness... and then a scene of utter chaos appeared before her.


End file.
